The new year

I haven’t posted anything New Yearsy yet and one reason is that I don’t feel the usual sense of hope or clean slate or any normal New Years emotions this time around. Last year was a bit of a bugger, to be honest, and many, many of the embuggerances were things that we didn’t see coming. No-one expected my Dad to fall off the balcony, or my mother to need back surgery and months of rehab, or my good friend Frank to so suddenly pass away. I didn’t at all expect to be working all the hours I worked (though I was grateful for the income), we didn’t expect DD’s new car to be a lemon, or DH’s new car to need quite that much specialist repair. I just didn’t see that year coming. So now, as I look at the year ahead, I wonder what nasty surprises are in the wings for us.

But I’m probably looking at it all wrong. Look, we’re still here! What doesn’t kill us etc. And as a family, we are stronger. Our relationships are stronger and we have figured out some things that need to change to make us healthier and happier. I, for one, have a much clearer idea of what I want to be doing with my time this year, what I want to achieve, and what my limits are. Having some idea of that helps when you’re planning the new year.

Last year I learned that I truly need the courage of my convictions. That I need to know what I’m saying ‘yes’ to so that I can say ‘no’ to the other things. I have also learned what I want to say ‘yes’ to. I want to spend more time writing. I want to spend some time alone each week so that I can have enough energy to spend time with friends and to invest in relationships. I want to spend time with my parents and enjoy their company. I am making changes to my work life to allow these good things to happen.

In the coming year I have cut down on the paid work that I am doing. I’m hoping that I have the courage to continue to say no to work opportunities and to hold sacred the time I have put aside for writing. If life goes even slightly to plan I should have a whole day alone to write in and to recharge in each week and therefore will be able to spend more time adventuring and socialising on the weekends. It could all be fantastically wonderful. It could all fall apart at the seams and be a big disappointment. Who knows?

That’s the thing. We don’t know. We just don’t know what the year ahead will hold.

I have a little rhyme by John Oxenham on my wall at work. When things started to get a little insecure (years ago) I wrote it out and stuck it beside my desk and it has stayed there ever since. I think it applies well to how I’m looking at the year ahead:

Not for one single day

Can I discern my way

But this I surely know –

Who gives the day,

Will show the way

So I securely go

I don’t know what the year will bring. I don’t hold much hope that I will get everything right or even most things right this year. I don’t know if the random happenings this year will be great or awful. But I do know Who holds the year and Who will hold me through it and that brings security.

May we all know true security in 2016.

Happy New Year!

4 thoughts on “The new year

  1. Have you read ‘Big Magic’ by Elisabeth Gilbert? I think that it may speak to you right now. It’s about the creative process, and how to honour it in our lives. I’m reading it right now (and she’s coming here in February!). and it may be really pertinent to you at the moment.

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  2. I really appreciate what you have shared so openly darling.God bless this year to all of our family. In the true sense of what it means to be blessed by our God.Love you VERY much!

    Roslyn Langlois

    >

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