My delicate emotional state

Prayer

Yes, I admit to feeling a bit delicate this morning. A bit emotionally spent.

It’s just an introvert thing, and there are a few of you out there who will think I’m being ridiculous, and maybe I am. But in my devotion this morning I was given a new tool to use when I find myself to be completely empty and I thought I’d share it with you too.

Maybe you want to know why I feel empty?

Well, I went to a great birthday party on Saturday night and caught up with some awesome people. Really good conversations. Absolutely delicious wood-fired pizza. Did you know that you can make rhubarb and custard wood-fired dessert pizza? How about apricot crumble pizza? You can, they’re delicious.

Then I led church on Sunday, was the MC if you like, up the front. It was a really brilliant service and I love leading. I enjoyed myself, had fun, and then there were deep times, and heart wrenching prayers for rain so that we can get through this fire season.

Then we had a couple of friends for lunch. It was so good to have that deep conversation. To share from the heart. And to see friends that I hadn’t seen in months. And my 6-year-old friend drew me a picture with a note that said ‘Thanks Roof for leting us staing your house’ and that was just precious.

And after that I needed time alone so I decide to go for a walk on the beach. But it was full of people. Lots of people on my beach! Of course, it was a 30 degree day and school goes back today so people were to be expected. And as much as I like to think it, I really don’t own any shares in Kingston Beach.

Still, it was delicious to hear the waves and to just walk along and …

I tried to think, I tried to pray, I even tried to listen to a podcast. But by that stage I was done. Really finished. I had nothing left inside. I was not sad, not angry, not upset in any way, not even down. I really want to make it clear that I enjoyed all the things I did on the weekend, I’m grateful for them. I wouldn’t want to change a single thing. It just meant that I used up every last bit in my tank. I was just tired. Just empty. And I didn’t know what to do. I never know what to do in those times. I usually just hang on until the evening when I can sleep and reset.

Last year a friend lent me a devotion book called Coffee with God by Sarah Arthur. This morning’s devotion reminded me of a tool that I can maybe use to get through times like that.

Sarah and I share a favourite author, Elizabeth Goudge, and in one of her books she spells out a simple three-fold prayer:

Lord have mercy.

Thee I adore.

Into Thy hands.

It’s a prayer that I knew, but that I had forgotten about. But I found that it said everything that I wanted to say. It’s a simple meditation that I hope I’ll remember to use next time that I run out of my own words, next time I run out of energy.

I hope it can be useful to you too.

Are you missing some of my blog posts? They come out every Monday. Sign up to follow the A Quiet Life blog on WordPress, or you can sign up to my newsletter on www.ruthamos.com.au  and you will receive every post straight to your email inbox. You will also find my podcast, my book ‘My Year of Saying No’, and any short stories or other books will be up there as they come along.

If you would like to support this blog and the podcast then you can head over to Patreon.com/quietlife and help me out for as little as a dollar a month. Thank you so much!

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “My delicate emotional state

  1. Someone once told me the main difference between introverts and extroverts is that extroverts recharge their batteries spending time with others whilst introverts need alone time to recharge. I think alone time can include quiet time with a close other, or with God, but I’d agree I need it! It can be very tiring to wait til night or bed time as the only chance to recharge!
    Empty beaches are good for the soul!

    Like

    • Yeah, I totally agree with that definition. And I know I’m exhausted when even God feels like another person. But I’m sure he understands.
      Empty beaches are one of my favourite parts of creation 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I love Elizabeth Goudge! I’ve read Pilgrim’s Inn and The Dean’s Watch by her. Definitely need to read more of her books. I’m extroverted, yet I still get that need to sometimes to do lower key things after a busy time. Love that little prayer.

    keturahskorner.blogspot.com

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s