How to achieve your GOAL

Last time I wrote about doing jobs and activities where you enjoy the process and not just the outcome.

Celebrate small successes
Photo by Ylanite Koppens from Pexels

It made me think about the types of goals that we can have in our lives.  How it’s better to focus in our goals on process rather than outcome. On systems rather than milestones.

We all know the weight loss goal: lose 10 kg. It’s a goal I’ve had for quite some time now. It was an especially depressing goal when my weight was going up. I’d be focusing on ‘lose 10 kg’ and each time I weighed myself my weight increased by another 500 g. It became totally depressing. The goal was big and imposing and impossible to do all at once.

Now, I haven’t lost the dream of losing those 10 kg. I know I’d like to be 10 kg lighter. But the process, the thing I’m actively working on, is to go to the gym six days a week and work out on the cross trainer for half an hour at the highest level of pump that I can give it. And to cook at least six meals at home per week so that we eat less takeaway food. 

This means I can tick that off each week, and see how I’m going, even when the weight doesn’t seem to be budging due to other factors.

Another area where I apply this type of goal setting in my life is in my writing. At the beginning of this year I was really struggling to get going on the rewrite of my novel. The goal was to take the last couple of chapters and turn them into another 50,000 words or so. Tricky. Imposing. Impossible to do all at once. And therefore, very difficult to start.

Instead, I changed the goal to one of writing 300 words a day. This takes me about 15 minutes. It’s not a huge goal, it’s not a 2-m high-jump (sorry, still on the Olympic examples here) it’s more like a 15-cm step up. I can do it. And once I get started, I can often keep going. I can happily write 500 or 1000 words. But I don’t have to. I just try to hit that tiny goal each day.

So many of our goals or the things we are striving for are dependent on factors that are out of our control. There is so much in life we can’t control – the weather, the emotional state of others, the level of expertise of the other job applicants. It’s easy to worry about those things so much that we don’t get started on the things we can do something about – our own job application and making it the best that it can be, our own emotional and mental wellbeing, and the wearing of a raincoat.

I was reading a book by Michael Mosley this week where he used the word ‘goal’ as an acronym. Now it’s not the best and most memorable acronym out there but I think the approach it outlines is good.

Get

Opportunities

Approach

Look for successes

G is for get. What do you want to get? What are you aiming for? This is the overarching goal, the 10 kg or finished novel or new job. This gives you a direction to head in. And I think this is important.

O is for opportunities. What opportunities or resources are out there to help you succeed? Do you need to join a writer’s group? Or read some articles on resume presentation? Or join a gym?

A is for approach. This is your plan. What are steps are you going to take to reach your goal? This is the 300 words a day. This is exercise six times a week. This is the process. Remember, you need to love the process, and it needs to be achievable for you. There is no point coming up with an approach that you don’t think you can do. A lot of writers insist that waking up at 430am to get words on the page is the only reasonable approach. I know that approach is not for me and if I tried it I would get no writing done. What approach are you going to use?

L is for ‘look for successes’. You need little milestones along the way. You need to cheer yourself on. In terms of weight loss, I might not be able to cheer the 10 kg yet, but I can cheer myself on for the increased fitness I’m seeing at the gym. For writing I can rejoice in every 1000 words, every chapter finished, every new creative idea that springs up. 

Mosley says ‘notice and celebrate small milestones’ and I agree, that celebration of small milestones along the way is so important. If we wait for the big milestone we might find that 1) we never get there or 2) we get there but it feels a bit empty. But if we celebrate along the way we have a life filled with celebration and I think that’s a wonderful joyful way to live.

What method of goals or systems do you use?

Do you have a special way of celebrating small successes?

Did you know that as well as this blog I have a podcast? You may have friends for whom you think this information is great but they prefer to listen rather than read. They can find my podcast at A Quiet Life on any pod catcher or they can go to ruthamos.com.au/podcast/ and listen there.

Feel free to share this blog with anyone you think would enjoy it. I’d love to get the word out as far as possible. People can sign up to read it at ruthamos.com.au or on WordPress. 

Graduation

Graduation 2018 August

Here we are, PhD graduates, their supervisors, the Dean, and me. The Dean is the only one not still wearing his finery.

Saturday I ate a protein-rich breakfast of bacon and eggs. I dressed with care in my nice black suit with a blue jumper underneath for warmth. I thought long and hard about which earrings to wear and decided on the plain pearls. I packed my academic robes and floppy hat in a suit bag and hung it in the back of the mini. I packed my bulging handbag in the boot of the mini and only took on me what I could fit in my pockets – a phone, a credit card, and the car keys.

I was a bit nervous, but not much. This wasn’t my special day, after all. I graduated with my PhD in 2010 but at present I am allowed by the uni to dress up in my glad rags and join the lecturers on stage to celebrate other’s graduations.

At the multi-storey carpark I met with another well-dressed woman holding a suit bag. We saluted each other with the bags and walked to the Federation Concert Hall together. We knew each other more from email contact than from sight.

She asked which area I was from.

‘Chemistry,’ I replied, ‘well, I was from Chemistry.’

Then I told her what I was doing now, and that if she needed an editor to look at her student manuscripts she now knew where to come. (I really need to invest in some business cards for such an occasion.)

In the robing room I met and mingled with long-standing friends. It was fun to catch up, good to see my colleagues again. Especially when we were there for such a celebration. We got dressed up, adjusted each others hoods, checked the tassels on the floppy hats. The only real awkwardness came when we had to pair up to walk in the academic procession. I found myself paired in a group of three and that just doesn’t work, but hey, we’re all adults. We worked it out.

And then it was time to put on our best pompous faces and make our way through the foyer of the Grand Chancellor Hotel to the concert hall where graduation was being held.

I must admit I was a bit rebellious. I was supposed to sit on the end of a row of five but I just wandered further and sat in the back row with my ex-boss. That caused a little bit of panic when the people didn’t think there were enough chairs for us all. But they got over it. And I bet they felt pretty silly when everyone sat down and they saw the empty seat in the middle of the row.

I wasn’t the worst behaved person on stage. One of the academics stood up and took a photo with his phone when his student crossed the stage. That was a little unprofessional. But a lot of fun.

We had six PhD students graduating on Saturday. Six from Chemistry, among the 50-ish PhDs in total for that particular ceremony. (I am not totally sure of my numbers because I foolishly left my program behind.) Out of the six Chemistry graduates, five were present to dress up in their floppy hats and walk the stage. It was so great to be there and celebrate with them.

The PhD is a long journey, long and fraught with many a danger. But they made it, and Saturday was a day for pure celebration of a milestone reached. I was so glad to be there to celebrate with them and their families.

I was also super-glad to see a couple of special students reach the milestone of a bachelor’s degree. They were students I had worked with in their very first chemistry classes. Students that had become friends over the course of their studies. I never know when these people are graduating (we’re not that close friends) but I was thrilled to see them walk the stage.

After all the pomp was finished we mingled over sausage rolls and party pies (we didn’t make it in time for any sushi) and took many photos and gave many hugs. I repeated, ‘congratulations’ over and over again, but I meant it every time. The hall was crowded and loud, but full of love, joy, and a sense of satisfaction. There is something important about attending the ceremony and giving yourself closure.

I love the pomp and ceremony of a graduation ceremony. It speaks to something deep in my English heritage. It reminds me of my heroes – Tolkien, Lewis, Sayers. I know all the pomp is unnecessary, but for me it’s a great way to celebrate the gaining of an important milestone and I congratulate again all my friends who had their special day on Saturday.

I didn’t make it to the PhD celebration parties that were held on Saturday afternoon and night. If you want to find out why, there’s a great book you can read that will explain it all (wink, wink). This post is my small and introverted way of saying again a huge congratulations to my friends who graduated on Saturday (and to my special friend who graduated Friday as well).