Changes for 2020

From Motherwell Magazine

It’s nearly February. Nearly time to put the holiday feeling behind us and get back to work for reals. I guess if you’re in the northern hemisphere you’ve already done that, but for us in the south, the warm weather can make us take longer to realise that the year is actually happening. But people, we have to face it now.

One of the things that often happens in holidays is that the problems you’re facing all become clear and you make promises to yourself that you’re sure you can hold to when you get home again.

I remember going away for as little as a weekend and thinking, ‘All I have to do is exercise regularly. It can’t be that hard. Just a little every day. We can do this.’ And then coming home, and the normalcy of life hit, and I realised that it was a lot harder than I thought.

I have this self-delusion in many areas of my life, not just exercise.

While I’ve been away visiting my sister, swanning around LA, I have been thinking about what I want to accomplish in the year ahead. I’ve been thinking that it shouldn’t be too hard, I just need to write a little of the novel each day, and write a little of the nonfiction too, and record a little of the audio book, and make sure I blog and podcast each week.

My sister Cath, Moz, Yossi and myself. Saying goodbye is hard!
You gotta have the photo with the Hollywood sign!

And I guess if that was all there was to my life, it wouldn’t be too hard.

But life is not like that. It is full of mundane things like washing up and going grocery shopping. And extras like declaring war on ants in the kitchen, putting away Christmas decorations, having coffees with people who need a chat, and celebrating special occasions. 

Life is not neat and tidy. 

Even my business life is not neat and tidy. I need to market my books and podcast in several different ways. I need to invite and meet people for podcast interviews. I need to keep my accounting up to date, and upgrade my websites, and learn new skills. 

When I got home from LA I drew out some mind maps. Maps of things I had to do, and things I wanted to do with my business. Plans and dreams and necessities.

And when I looked sensibly at the workload I had given myself for the year I realised (with Moz’s help) that I couldn’t do it all. I needed to plan differently.

I needed to plan to do less. Not just try to squeeze in more.

This is difficult because I love everything I do. Everything I try to fit into my days has meaning and purpose. Each item on my to do list is in line with what I want my life to be. 

But still I don’t have time to do all that I want to do.

I’ve cut out the fat, I guess, but I still can’t reach the goals I want to reach.

I need to slow down. Change my goals. Let myself off the hook.

So I’m trying to do that now. 

So what’s changing?

I am changing the podcast up a bit this year. I will be releasing a podcast interview once a fortnight. 

On the other week I will be recording and releasing a chapter of My Year of Saying No.  (Which will be good, because obviously I need a refresher on that content.) Once I’ve done that, I’ll put all the recordings together and release the audiobook.

I am also taking a break from this blog. I am thinking deeply about what I want to accomplish with my writing and I think when I come back the blog will take a different form. If you are interested in being there when I come back, please sign up to my newsletter here because I’m not sure that this particular blog space will resurface.

I’m also going to be spending more time working on the writing craft, reading craft books, doing exercises, and studying the books I love so that I can see how the authors made them so amazing. This will mean that I won’t be able to release my own books at the same rate, but hopefully it will also mean that my own books are much better value when I do release them.

So there are some of my thoughts as we get started on 2020.

How about you? What are your plans and goals like for the next year? Are you already feeling the need to pare them down? Share your thoughts with me in the comments.

Partial Solutions

Do you have a dream? A really big and beautiful dream? A dream that you feel like you just can’t start working on yet?

Maybe it’s a book you want to write. A book you will write, just as soon as you can set aside a space in the house that is just for writing, and take uninterrupted holidays and spend a month or so dedicated to your magnum opus.

Maybe you want to invite people over to dinner. And you will. Just as soon as you get a dining table that can fit more than four, and can afford a new couch to replace your ratty old one.

Maybe you dream of running a marathon. And you’ll start training just as soon as you can block out an hour of each day to go for a run. 

Maybe you want to travel. But right now you spend every weekend at home watching TV because you can’t afford an international adventure.

Maybe you want to go into missions, but you’re worried about how you’ll finance your retirement if you leave now, so you’re staying at your job waiting until your superannuation is at a sufficient level before you take the leap and go.

Christina and I have a bit of a chat about our big dreams (among other things) in this week’s podcast. I’m finding that I’m becoming very enamoured of the idea of ‘partial solutions’. (I first heard that term on Tsh Oxenriders podcast, Simple.)

Whatever the dream that you have, I’m sure that there’s a perfect solution that will allow you to achieve that dream. And you may have spent hours thinking about that perfect solution, polishing it up, gazing at its beauty. But all that time and effort has not brought you any closer to achieving that dream. And in some cases, it might have pushed you further away.

Here’s a beautiful scene we found on a weekend adventure.

How about you start thinking instead about a partial solution?

Maybe you can start to write your book sitting on your bed in the last fifteen minutes of the day.

Maybe you can invite people over to dinner despite your small table. The kids can sit on the ratty couch and you and the adults can take the table. You won’t be so worried about stains if the couch is already ratty, and you can all relax.

Maybe you can pack some runners and go for a walk in your lunch hour at work. Or if you have kids, you can walk them to school. Maybe you can only get out for ten minutes; it’s better than nothing, and my experience was that a ten minute walk kickstarted my fitness routine much more effectively than a half-hour run that was never taken.

Maybe you can pack the car and go for a Saturday adventure. Just a day out, right where you live. A bush walk, or an investigation of a small town you have never looked at before. 

Maybe you can share your faith with those around you, reach out to people where you are, just like you would if you were living in a foreign country.

And here’s a thought, if you’re not putting partial solutions in place, then maybe you don’t actually want that dream after all. Maybe you just like the idea of it. Maybe it’s time to really examine your priorities and find out what your dream actually is.

What dreams do you have, and what are you doing to move towards them?

When you look at your life do you already see a partial solution in action that shows your heart for what you want to do or be?

Are you missing some of my blog posts? They come out every Monday. Sign up to follow the A Quiet Life blog on WordPress, or you can sign up to my newsletter on www.ruthamos.com.au  and you will receive every post straight to your email inbox. You will also find my podcast, my book ‘My Year of Saying No’, and any short stories or other books will be up there as they come along.

If you would like to support this blog and the podcast then you can head over to Patreon.com/quietlife and help me out for as little as a dollar a month. Thank you so much!

Slightly incoherent thoughts on the new year

fireworks

It’s the first week of the new year, a traditional time for looking back and looking forward. And because my birthday is in January, I traditionally take the whole month to look back and look forward. It’s handy having both things in the same month, really. No ambiguity.

I have been gardening this morning (yes, really) and listening to podcasts about the new year. I regularly listen to writer podcasts and they have all taken the chance with the change of calendar to talk about goals and resolutions, thoughts and hopes for the new year.

One was a ‘how to’ podcast, saying that our goals or resolutions for the new year needed to be holistic, taking into account the growth of our souls, the states of our relationships, and our physical bodies, before coming up with any writing or creative goals for the year.

In one of the podcasts the host had just attended a tragic traffic accident a few days before and suddenly all her new year goals were shown to be trite and small in the bigger picture of life.

One podcast was broken into two parts, the first aired on the 31st December looking back at the old year and whether the host had achieved her goals, and the second on the 1st January looking forward to her goals in the new year. To be honest, I really don’t understand how she did it. I have too many family things happening, people visiting, and extra Christmas and New Year bits and pieces to be able to think clearly through the previous year, let alone to concentrate on the new year. I might be able to do this later in the month but I can’t see myself ever being able to produce something coherent on New Year’s day.

There have even been some pretty amazing Facebook posts by my friends with pictures from throughout the last year, detailed summaries, and well thought-out goals. I’ve been so impressed.

I have been thinking about the year past, of course. But it took me two days of thinking to remember that we visited Vanuatu in April, and if something that major can go missing in my memory banks, I’m unlikely to synthesise a reasonable summary of the year at the moment. Much of what happened in the year got swallowed up and camouflaged by the health problems I have had in the last couple of months, and in the busyness of the year that Moz has experienced.

But as I look towards the new year I have hope.

My health will get better. It’s in the messy middle at the moment and I don’t know how long the messiness will last, but it will get better. And Moz’s work will not be as busy this year. We have put things in place, he’s not working full time, he will have more space in the new year.

I have hope, but I don’t have certainty.

I’m a person who likes to make detailed plans. I like to set goals, to make lists, to tick things off. And I find that I can’t do that at the moment. I’m just not sure what the year will look like.

What will my energy levels be like? I think I may have just graduated from having to take an afternoon nap every day. So that’s a bonus. But I don’t know when I will be able to work eight-hour days again. I don’t know when I’ll be able to take one hour walks in the evenings again. I’m not sure when my brain function will be up to keeping track of all the things involved in running three businesses.

All of this precludes me being able to set time-limited goals. I don’t like the thought of setting myself up for failure. I need to wait and see.

So while I have some ideas for the new year that I would like to try out, I am not setting any goals right now. I’m just going to step out each day, holding God’s hand, and take it as it comes.

It’s not comfortable, but it’s where I am. And maybe it will stop me from living in the future and will enable me to live more in the present, right where I am now.

Where are you with New Years goals and resolutions? Do you have detailed plans for the year ahead? Or are you just holding on by the skin of your teeth, trying to climb out of the pit that 2018 left you in?

Are you missing some of my blog posts? They come out every Monday (except for Christmas and New Year, apparently. Still I’m back into it now, so it should be every Monday from here on in). Sign up to follow the A Quiet Life blog on WordPress, or you can sign up to my newsletter on www.ruthamos.com.au  and you will receive every post straight to your email inbox. You will also find my podcast, my book ‘My Year of Saying No’, and any short stories or other books will be up there as they come along.

If you would like to support this blog and the podcast (which is on http://www.ruthamos.com.au or Apple Podcasts, or wherever you download your podcasts) then you can head over to Patreon.com/quietlife and help me out for as little as a dollar a month. Thank you so much!