My lovely Mother-in-law has a philosophy about wedding anniversaries. She says that if your marriage is having trouble, then your anniversary is the most important day of the year. You have to make it perfect. And woe betide the spouse who forgets the date. But if your marriage is good, if you’re investing in each other throughout the year, if you communicate well, then the anniversary isn’t so important. It’s nice if it’s nice, but it’s not the end of the world if it’s not.
Which is a very good thing, really.
Moz and I have had some doozy wedding anniversaries. We’ve had a couple on Scripture Union camps, where we shared our cabin with not only our children, but our nieces as well. Fun and all, but not the best for romantic pursuits.
Then there was the one in Vanuatu where it rained all day, there was no power (our fault, we’d left a speaker on all night and drained the solar-powered batteries), all our battery operated devices ran out of power and there was almost nothing to do. We played crib with a packet of cards we had bought as a gift for Caleb. When the clouds finally cleared and the rain stopped, our host asked Moz if he could help him out – one of their goats had died and needed to be buried.
On one anniversary, Moz had been given the option to go sailing with my uncle so we spent the day apart. Which wasn’t so dreadful, but it did happen to be the day where I had to make the decision to have our cat put down. Another gem of an anniversary.
We’ve had some good ones as well, but either way it doesn’t matter. We can celebrate our day on the day, or we can celebrate our marriage at another time. We know we’re all right, and we make the effort through the year to rejoice in each other. It’s fine.
I think the same philosophy applies to Christmas.
Christmas day can be a day filled with stress. It can be a day we feel intense pressure to ‘get it right’. To make it perfect. To have the absolutely most special family day of the whole year.
But think about it, you’ve been putting effort into the family for the whole year. You have shown them over and over again that you love them, and they you. Christmas day is a special day, but it is only one day. Even if everything falls apart, you can come together on another day to have another go.
Let’s let Christmas go a bit this year, hold it more lightly, laugh if things go wrong and tuck the stories away to share at a later date and make others laugh too.
Rest in the knowledge that you’ve shared love throughout the year, take the pressure off this day, and let it be the type of special that it needs to be.
May this Christmas be joyous and peaceful for you and those you love.
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