Always more (in a good way)

Last weekend, Moz and I sat and chatted about the circle of fifths, what it was and why you would use it. I studied music theory when I was a teenager, but that was a long time ago now, and though I knew that the circle of fifths existed, I haven’t used it for anything since high school. Moz approaches music differently from how I approach it, and I enjoy learning from him. We had a great discussion.

(If you don’t know, the circle of fifths is a music thing. It shows us how chords (collections of notes) relate to each other. It’s a useful tool in writing or understanding music.)

At SongSpace, on Tuesday night, we sang the carol, ​Torches Torches​. I told the group that it was a joyful carol even though it was in a minor key. Andrea, our accompanist, corrected me (gently and in love) and said that the song was more modal than minor. Yes, indeed it is. That sent my brain on more of a rabbit trail that I am yet to follow up.

I grew up in a very musical home, and I love music and learning music theory. But even though I was soaked in all this stuff as a kid, there is so much more to learn. And that’s the wonder of it.

There’s always more to learn.

Several of the knitting podcasts I listen to talk about how knitting is an amazing craft because there’s always more to learn – always another stitch or technique that you can turn your brain to.

My dad loves photography. He will tell you that even though he’s been taking photos since, well, at least since I was a kid and very probably before that, there is more to learn. More editing techniques, more about how to use the camera.

Whatever you are interested in, science, history, craft, sport, literature, computers, board games, even something like Pokémon cards, there is always more to learn.

One of the tricky things about our schooling is that it can sometimes turn learning into a chore, something we should do because someone in authority has told us we have to. We might even think we’re bad at learning, that may be one of the repeating stories that we tell ourselves.

We might worry about looking stupid. We might worry, like I am tempted to with music, that we ‘should have learned it all by now’ and that we look like idiots for not already knowing. These thoughts rob us of a great load of joy. As I have swallowed my pride and asked my questions, I have found that people love to teach me about their special thing. They are so excited that I’m interested that they don’t really have time to judge me.

When I grew up, we had one year of homeschooling. Now, I didn’t much enjoy that year and I’ve complained about it before, but one of the lasting legacies of that homeschooling year for all three of the kids in my family is that it showed us how much we loved learning. That has led to so many wonderful things for each of us.

These days, reading is not required for learning. Audiobooks are amazing if you are dyslexic. And the library will give you free access to those through your phone. YouTube has tutorials for just about anything. And asking someone to teach you about their passion project is a great way to make a new friend.

If you think that learning is not for you, I suggest that you find something you’re interested in and follow that interest. You will find yourself learning as you go, and I hope that will light the flame that takes your further and further into the wonderful world of education.

If you are close to a child, I suggest that you find something they are interested in and follow that interest with them. You will learn, but more importantly, you will ignite the passion for learning in that child, and that will be a blessing to them for the rest of their lives.

What are you learning about this week?

---

Please feel free to pass this on to anyone who might find it helpful. Or they can sign up to my list here.

If you would like to support my ministry, hit reply to this email and we can chat methods 🙂

Reducing friction

I talked last week about prioritising our to-do list. I’d heard a podcaster say to rate your jobs from one to ten and then only do the nines and tens. A nice idea but a bit simplistic.

My musing simply stated that it is good to think about what we are spending our time doing. And that we should make time to do our nines and tens. That we should make time to do the thing we love even though jobs one through eight might be more urgent and necessary.

Peirce Baehr responded to my email. I love getting responses like this, and he has given me permission to share. But before I share, a quick ad break.

Peirce and Christina Baehr are artists and musicians and authors who are running their ​Pilgrim Artists Festival​ this coming weekend in Ranelagh. It’s a festival full of art, music and writing. The opening is Friday night, but it’s open during the days on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I highly recommend it.

So what wisdom did Peirce share with me? The wisdom of reducing friction in the tasks that have to be done but are not filled with joy. To raise the value of these tasks or make them more enjoyable to do.

His story was that they took the four sliding doors off their laundry nook, and turned the washing machine to face out (before it had to be sideways to fit behind the door), and laundry became ten times easier.

It’s so true isn’t it? Sometimes we are like flies (yes, a very Australian example) bashing ourselves time and time again against the glass when the open window is right next door. We just need to step back and take a look and we’ll see that there’s a better alternative.

I’ve had times in my life where I haven’t done this, and times when I have. About 15 years after Moz finished running his own business we realised that I would have really enjoyed doing his books and he would have really enjoyed taking the kids somewhere to play while I did the paperwork. That would have suited our personalities better. Instead what actually happened was that I slogged away trying to keep the kids quiet while he slogged away on the paperwork that he hated.

The really big life example for us was the weekend where Moz and I stopped for long enough for us to realise that he very much needed to look for a new place of work, or, indeed, to stop working as a sparkie and retrain. That one weekend led to a new career for him as a teacher, which has enriched our lives and the lives of many children.

Maybe there’s a new way for you to do a task, or a small change that you can make to bring more enjoyment or to lower the amount of hardship involved in that task. I encourage you to take the time to look at those hard things in your life and ask the question, ‘Can I make this even slightly easier?’

Can you listen to an audiobook while vacuuming (with noise-cancelling headphones)? Can you garden with a friend? Is it time to break out the ​rewards chart again​ as you work towards a goal?

I’d love to hear of ways that you reduce friction in your difficult tasks.

---

Please feel free to pass this on to anyone who might find it helpful. Or they can sign up to my list here.

You can find my devotions on YouVersion here.

If you would like to support my ministry, hit reply to this email and we can chat methods 🙂

Simple choices

I heard some advice on a podcast this week. They said to rate all the things you want to do out of ten, and then to do only the nines and tens. All the others can go, they said.

My first snarky thought was ‘Really? I never have to vacuum the lounge room again?’

It’s very easy to give simplistic advice. Look at the number of productivity books and podcasts that are out there. I mean, I love reading them and gleaning what I can from them. Books with a calendar and a pen on the cover are catnip for me. But if I applied all the simplistic rules to my life, things would go wrong very quickly.

We need to add nuance to our lives. Your life and mine are two very different things. We have different priorities, different energy levels, different challenges. The ‘rules’ that apply to my life won’t apply to yours. The things that go into the ratings from one to ten out of ten are not going to look alike. You’ll make a decision based on five issues that don’t even come up when I’m making a similar decision.

Come to think of it, my own life can change from day to day, so that a decision made today will be obsolete tomorrow.

There are so many tasks, projects, ideals and goals that we’d like to achieve in our lives. It’s good to have purpose and direction, but I think that oversimplification can cause issues.

For example, I know that I can write 50,000 words in a month. I have done it twice now for NaNoWriMo (national novel-writing month, when it existed). It’s a challenge, but it’s a fun challenge. I have about 50,000 words to write in my current WIP (Dig Deep) to reach my target word count, and I have about a month before I head to Deloraine for a research trip for the next ​Small Town​ novel. I enjoy my writing. It’s something I prioritise. It gives me life. It’s a 9 out of 10 activity.

So therefore, I should just go ahead and write the 50,000 words, right?

Well, no. There are other things I need to do as well. This newsletter, for one. My editing work. Babysitting the grandkids. And yes, cleaning the house. Not all of these rank at a nine (though this newsletter does, obviously) but they all need to be done. And I have limited energy. I’m not going to be able to go without sleep for a whole month to squeeze everything in. In fact, as I say in Boots That Fit, we are healthier if we make time for movement, nutrition, social connection, down time and sleep.

At the same time, I need to remember that writing my novel is life-giving. That it is something I want to prioritise. It is a nine out of ten. So even in this busy couple of months when there is heaps to do, I need to put aside time to write my novel. Maybe even give it a little more time than usual, giving up a night of doom scrolling or an hour of TV time to make it happen.

So, yes, rank your to-do list somehow. I think it’s worth looking at your tasks in detail. Some of them may be able to be dropped or put off. Some of them may need to move up the priority list. But keep in mind that life is a tricky thing and that you may not always be able to live up to your own amazing standards. And that is fine.

Let’s live with purpose and clarity, knowing what we want to do and being real about the nuances that we need to live with.

And please, as much as possible, make time to do that thing that brings you life and joy.

Mental exercise

These thoughts are brought to you by the mental exercise I have received from reading ​Live Laugh Love: The Secret History of White Christian Women and the World they Made.​ I have been working my way through it over the last few days and it’s been fascinating, but I also feel like Kristin Kobes du Mez is going through my brain with a red pen and editing many of my assumptions.

Here’s one:

If you feel sad, it’s your own fault. You can change that by thinking better thoughts.

Or

If you change your attitude, you can change your life.

These sayings imply that happiness is the goal. Being happy in my life is the ultimate aim and I am the one responsible to bring that aim to reality.

Is it true? It’s more nuanced than that.

It is possible to have the wrong attitude – to feel sad because I’m wallowing in self-pity. I know, because I’ve done that. Sometimes I need to just get on with things and stop navel gazing. In this case, changing my attitude will change my life.

But sometimes, taking a little time to think about why I feel sad is a good idea. I might see something that needs changing. Something more than just my own attitude. Maybe I need to have a hard conversation with someone. Maybe I can change my circumstances a little and improve things.

Sometimes sadness comes from grief. It is right and necessary to grieve the loss of a loved one. And it is also right to take the time to grieve a change in our lives. Even changes like children growing up, changes that are good and right, bring a touch of grief. More so changes that catch us unexpectedly and bring hardship.

And sometimes ‘negative’ emotions like sadness and anger come because there are systemic issues that need to be addressed. I know I’ve said this before, but I found it so helpful when my aunt told me that ‘discomfort always comes before change’. If we refuse to feel the discomfort, then we refuse to make things better. Sometimes we need to feel discomfort before we’re ready to make things better for others, too. Before we’re able to put ourselves out for someone else’s good.

Sometimes things in our lives are wrong. They are just wrong and we can’t do anything about it. I would hope that we can find some way to live despite the wrong-ness of things, to overcome the despair. But I don’t know. I don’t know how those living in slavery keep going. I don’t know how those living under threat of war manage their attitudes. I haven’t been close enough to that to understand how it’s done. Maybe they do a whole lot of checking their own attitudes, but I wouldn’t blame anyone for feeling miserable in those circumstances. The circumstances are bad.

Maybe happiness isn’t the ultimate aim of our lives. According to Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, meaning and purpose is of more importance. Putting my happiness and comfort aside to help another person might give me this sense of purpose. Maybe we can practice doing this in our easier times so that we have a ‘meaning’ muscle trained for the harder times that come along.

The Bible tells us that part of the fruit of the Spirit, the outcome of living as a Christian, is joy and peace, which sounds very close to happiness. But it also talks about going the second mile, about denying myself, about taking up my cross. About patient endurance and faithfulness and self control, all of which, in my life at least, grow through hardship.

So, I don’t believe that we can ‘think ourselves rich’ or ‘think ourselves happy’. Instead, I choose to find meaning in what I do, trying to help others in my own way and to bring them more fullness in their lives.

This is all way too much for a single musing. I could write a whole book on this. Many books have been written already. There are so many aspects to living a life. I haven’t talked today about leaning on one another, on community, on spiritual aspects of finding meaning. To be honest, I haven’t read Frankl’s book and I don’t know what he covers about the nuts and bolts of it. I could write a chapter on agency and a chapter on boundaries and a whole book about spiritual manipulation and so on. Like I said, it’s nuanced and it’s giving my brain a whole lot of exercise.

So you can count this as an unfinished musing. Maybe even an unhelpful musing. (If so, I’m very sorry.)

Maybe this is another way we need each other. To give us multiple viewpoints. To help us move forward along life’s path. If you want to add to this conversation, I’d be happy to hear what you have to say. You can write to me at ruth@ruthamos.com.au For now, this is what I’m musing about. I’ll keep thinking on it.

Just because

I have three or four friends who have delighted me recently by sharing their sketch books on social media.

One shares her more abstract drawings, inspired by the chattering water in a nearby creek, the movement of tree branches, or the light of street lamps as she drives by. One has recently shared her landscapes, her craft sketches and some incredibly cute drawings of new lambs. Another has sketched people she’s seen on her lunch breaks, sharing the colour that sneaks in around all the black puffy jackets in town.

These people are very skilled, but as far as I know, they are not trying to make their sketches into a side hustle. They are enjoying the hobby, doing it well, and … that’s it.

I am not good at this mindset, but I am trying to improve. I tend to want a productive outcome for everything I do. A reason.

However, I think it’s not only wonderful, but almost essential to do things just for the love of it. To play an instrument just for the joy of making music. To craft just for the joy of creation. To garden just to enjoy being in nature.

It’s not bad to want to be productive. I just think, like everything else, production needs to take its place as just one part of a full and varied life.

This has come up for me because I think I want to do more study. (Yes, even more study.) I had a chat with Moz about it. Could I justify this study? What would be the reason for it? What would be the outcome?

He put me right. It is not necessary for me to have an outcome in mind when I begin the study. It is quite reasonable to study just because I enjoy learning new things. And while I get a LOT out of reading books, it might also be good to have someone ask me to write an essay or take an exam about what I’m reading in order to really cement the ideas into my head.

In ​Boots That Fit ​I write about how we don’t need to be good at something in order to do it. We need to be willing to be bad at something. To do it just because. To just enjoy the process.

We might find that we end up being quite skilled at it, after a fair bit of practice. We might find that we end up still being bad at it, but still enjoy it so much that we keep going. We might end up making that thing into a business or trade. We might have it as a side hustle. Or we maybe don’t end up making money from it at all. All of these outcomes and more are good outcomes.

Let’s not get sucked in. We don’t need to make money from every endeavour. I encourage you to find things you enjoy doing, and make the time to do them. Even if you can’t see any ‘outcome’ from them.

May you find joy in doing stuff just because.

What hobbies do you do just for the fun of it?

Onward and Upward

There’s something about having grandkids that makes me find the idea of circular time is so appealing. The idea of being regenerated to go through my life again. And maybe get it right this time.

When Caleb, my youngest, was about two years old, I had a thought that maybe we should have another child. That maybe I could do pregnancy and labour ‘right’ if I had another go.

I literally slapped myself around the face and told myself to pull myself together. This was not a good reason to bring another child into the world.

Instead, we bought a cat.

But my desire to try again, to maybe get it right this time, is very strong.

As I watch my children do such an excellent job of parenting their kids, I am reminded over and over again of my own parenting journey. And I wish I could go back and do some of it differently.

One of our grandsons has cut his own hair lately, and the other is enjoying the imagination play of being a barber. It reminds me of the day I got in the car to race off somewhere with Caleb and looked over at him to see that he’d got sick of his fringe being in his eyes and had done something about it himself.

I wish I’d noticed that it was bothering him and had had the energy to fix it before he did.

I know it was a little thing. I know my kids know they are loved. I’m grateful that I can learn from them as they now do such an excellent job with their own kids. And I know that they won’t get everything right either. But a big part of me wants to go back to the beginning, start again and get it right.

And that’s impossible. Time is linear. I am on a journey from the beginning to the end and that’s just how it is.

It’s very possible that if I were to do it all again, I would make exactly the same mistakes. Or even new ones. I’m good at mistakes! I have an endless supply.

In some ways I’m grateful for my mistakes, and for my hardships, for my postnatal depression, my thyroid disorder, and for my long journey to find out who I am. These things have helped me understand and help others. And I’m very grateful for the ability to repent/confess/apologise and for forgiveness.

There is no point in making myself miserable about the past. Instead, I need to use those ‘less than perfect’ things as stepping stones, learning from them and using them to build a better future.

The Bible describes this as ‘being transformed into God’s image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord’ (2 Corinthians 3:18) and that sounds very hopeful. Much more hopeful than depending on myself to get it right the next time around.

I hope you know forgiveness and self-forgiveness. And that you are glorious, and becoming ever more glorious. Onward and upward.

The Creative Wave

There’s a problem with celebrity. With the lauding of individuals, especially creative individuals. We tend to lift that one person high on a pedestal and forget that everything they do is a product of a group effort.

I get surprised when I find that some ‘individual’ I’m following on Instagram turns out to have a creative team behind them. Or at least another person to chat things through with or to hold their phone for them. But why am I surprised? High class creative outputs need teams. It is impossible for one person to do it alone.

Dolly Parton was a wonderful woman. One of the things that made her wonderful was her humility, her understanding that she needed others and her desire to help others. Her Imagination Library is just awesome and in my feed, at least, she is remembered as much for that philanthropy as for her excellent singing.

In her ​TED Talk, Elizabeth Gilbert​ reminded us of the ancient idea of ‘having’ a genius, rather than ‘being’ a genius. That we get less overwhelmed ourselves if we think of the creative genius landing on us, using us, maybe, rather than us having to produce the creativity from somewhere within ourselves. As a Christian, I believe that my creativity comes from tapping into the creativity of God. He is the ultimate genius. The ultimate creator. I create because I am made in his image.

I’ve been thinking about this because I came across this quote from Mary Heilmann, a painter:

“When you get a clever idea, it is a consequence of being connected. To language, to other people. And so that magical, spiritual aspect of the concept is the product of a group effort.”

When we feel like we are working alone, producing the work from a well within ourselves, it can get pretty overwhelming and stressful. We put ourselves under pressure to get it right. We blame ourselves when we get it ‘wrong’. It’s exhausting.

When we understand that everything comes from being connected, we can feel more free. We can feel more free to ask for help. We can feel more free to fill up our creativity with the works of other people – reading, listening to music, feasting our eyes on visual art. We feel more free to give what we have to others. And we know that building our relationships with others is vital.

Yes, I need time alone to process, to rest and to see what is germinating in my own creativity. But I must never forget that all of it is a group effort.

Whatever you’re creating right now, I encourage you to take a moment to think of all the connections and input that has led to this creation. I’m not making it all from scratch, I’m just surfing the wave. It fills my heart with gratitude and I want to pass it on.

Good and memorable

Thank you to those of you who responded to last week’s post with your something good and your memorable cuppa. It was lovely to read about family experiences and about community building at cafés. One particularly memorable cuppa story was from a rooftop in Saudi Arabia “fresh dates and delicious spiced Arabian coffee”. Though I think I personally would prefer to read about it than to live it.

I feel like, having asked you all to share with me, I need to share a ‘something good’ and a ‘memorable coffee’ with you too. I’ve been thinking about this all week. I have found that it’s much easier for me to ask the questions than to give my own answers!

I write in a journal every day. First thing every morning, I write around three pages in a lined A5-ish Moleskin journal, using a blue Bic ballpoint pen. Sometimes I process emotions or sort through difficult issues, but mostly I write about what happened the day before. Just a quick description of what I did and how I felt about it.

I think that one reason I continue to write my journal daily is that I don’t trust my memories. I don’t trust myself to remember the important things in my life. If I didn’t write a journal, I think I’d be anxious about whether I’d remember an important happening or not. But writing it down takes that anxiety from me. It’s there, in the book, on the shelf. If I need it, I can find it.

So in preparation for this post, I have taken a few journals off the shelf and briefly thumbed through them.

This is what I’ve found.

Something good:

There are many many good things in my journals. Mostly very small good things, like a good night’s sleep or a warm sunny day or a walk on the beach.

I love my life. It has its ups and downs. I have struggled with a few health things over the years. I’ve had the normal arguments and disappointments. But overall, I really love my life. I am living according to my values. There is great joy in the every day things. I enjoy my work. I love my family. I have an excellent husband.

I’m grateful for all of this. It is a very good thing.

Memorable cuppa:

I didn’t find this in my brief reading of my journals but Moz (the excellent husband) reminded me of it when I asked him for his memorable cuppa so I’ll share it with you today.

For our 20th wedding anniversary, Moz and I visited Vanuatu. We spent some time in a resort and some time at the Youth With A Mission base. The leader of the base, our friend Roger, took us to the airport to catch our very early flight home. We were all sleepy so I decided to get the three of us a cuppa.

I thought that the international airport would have decent drinks, and the café had T2 canisters lined up on the back bench – a good sign.

But then I saw the barista open a T2 tin to expose the ‘Home Brand’ tea bags inside. And this is Vanuatu home brand. Not good. Moz did not enjoy his cup of tea.

The coffee similarly tasted of dirt and may not have contained any caffeine at all. It really was the worst coffee I have ever drunk in my life. Though the coffee at the café near the waterfront was halfway decent, so it may have just been that particular shop that served horrendous drinks.

Memorable for sure. Great company, horrible drinks!

So that is my good thing and my memorable cuppa. In my journal reading I found a few more questions too – what superpower would you like to have? If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be, and why?

But you know, it’s not the questions that are the important thing here. It’s the listening. If the answer to the question is like mine, “I don’t know. I don’t really think about things that way,” then that is something you can also listen to. Something new you’ve learned about the person you’re chatting with.

It’s the listening that’s the important thing.

Thank you for listening to me each week.

Conversation starters

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there’s a ​loneliness epidemic​ going around. There’s been a lot of talk about it, and quite a few experiments and studies to see the effects of isolation and loneliness. I think it’s great the people are doing what they can to help with the problem.

I heard one podcaster telling me that we assume that we’ll hate conversations with strangers, say on public transport. But if we actually try to chat with someone, we’re happier and have a better time than if we’d stayed glued to our phones or kept our headphones in.

I reckon most of us don’t interact with others because we don’t know where to start.

When our little family visited my parents in the USA in around 2002, Moz and our friend Rodney (also Australian) visited Washington DC together while I stayed home with the kids.

The train back to Virginia was filled with people in business suits. The carriage was quiet as each person did their best to pretend that either they didn’t exist, or that no one else in the carriage was there.

Moz and Rod sat at a table, and a woman across from them pulled out her newspaper and began to work on the crossword. She held the paper carefully so that it didn’t transgress onto any part of the table that ‘belonged’ to the others.

Rodney was having none of that. He grabbed her paper and pulled it to the centre of the table, telling her that they could work on it together. At first she was horrified, but then she heard Rod’s Australian accent, put him in the category of ‘those crazy Australians’, and relaxed.

Their table had a great ride home together, working on the crossword as a team.

Most of us don’t have the courage to do what Rod did. Some of us might not have the Australian accent! And what was right for Rod might be wrong for our situation. But I have heard two conversation starters lately that I thought I’d add to your toolbox so that you, too, can help with the loneliness epidemic.

One: Tell me something good.

This apparently came from a bartender. He took the woman’s order and asked, ‘Tell me something good.’ Then, as he served others, the woman took the time to think of something good that she could tell him when he came back. She said it lifted her mood and also gave them something to chat about.

I am always happy to listen to people share their hard times and hurts. It’s important for all of us to feel heard and supported. But also, I’m going to remember to ask my friends to tell me something good and keep ‘something good’ in the front of my mind to tell others. It will give all of us a lift.

Two: What’s your most memorable cup of tea or coffee experience?

This is a great conversation starter. I want to use it because I’m sure I’ll hear some truly amazing stories. Note – it’s not the best or the worst experience, but the most memorable. What jumps to your mind?

I’m out of room for this week’s post, but next week, I’ll tell you something good, and I’ll tell you a memorable cuppa experience that I’ve had. Meanwhile, I’d love you to share the same with me!

If you use these through the week to start a conversation, please let me know how it goes. And please tell me other ways to begin a conversation that allow your chatting partner to share with you.

---

Please feel free to pass this on to anyone who might find it helpful. Or they can sign up to my list ​here​.

If you would like to support my ministry, hit reply to this email and we can chat methods 🙂

Mondegreens and maturity

The other night, as we were having family dinner, my Dad made a dad joke about the ’round yon virgin’ and a few seconds later, Caleb had a lightbulb moment.

“Hang on, that’s what I thought it meant. That the virgin Mary was round because she was 40 weeks pregnant. But it means ‘around the virgin’ doesn’t it?”

We all assured him that yes it did. The carol says nothing at all about Mary’s body shape.

Caleb is in his late 20s and he had never thought this through. He’d just sung the carol and got on with the presents and the food.

Fair enough.

I have to say fair enough because it wasn’t until the next morning that I had the thought, “What was around the virgin?”

When we sing this carol, we sing the first couple of lines, take a breath, and start a new sentence, “Round yon virgin, mother and child, holy infant so tender and mild.” But that’s not a whole sentence, my editor brain says. Unless the infant was around the virgin…

That’s an awful picture. Stop. Go back.

Maybe it’s the first couple of lines that make the sentence work.

“All is calm, all is quiet ’round yon virgin mother” (Yeah, there’s not comma between virgin and mother. The word “virgin” is an adjective. A describing word that describes the mother.)

The whole picture shifted into focus. The carol is not saying that the whole world was quiet (which was what I had always thought), just that there was quiet around Mary and her new baby. I hope there was. I’m pretty sure baby Jesus cried when he was hungry or tired. But I hope that, on that first night, just for a little while, it was calm and quiet, and Mary and her baby could “sleep in heavenly peace”. At least, until the shepherds showed up.

It just shows that we can carry weird ideas for years and years without even knowing it.

You probably had this carol all sorted out and are laughing at my slowness. I hope you are laughing! It’s such a silly idea.

But I wonder what other ideas you and I have carried over since childhood?

Some of these are just fun, but some of our childhood ideas can be more harmful. Some teaching we’ve received has brought shame or division. Some family ways of doing things have been unhelpful or even destructive.

We may not even know these ideas are there. They can shape our behaviour without us understanding why we behave the way we do.

What do we do about this?

We educate ourselves by reading and thinking and talking with others. We do our best to be open to new ideas and critically evaluate them. And I also trust God that he will help me to see where I need to change. That he will bring these things up for me when I’m able to work on them and learn new ways of being.

I hope, when these ideas come to light in my life, I will be able to accept the corrections with the same grace as Caleb accepted his. That I will be able to begin the work to build the new neural pathways and take the time to change.

And I hope the same for you.

What weird and wonderful things have you misheard or misunderstood?

---

Please feel free to pass this on to anyone who might find it helpful. Or they can sign up to my list ​here​.

If you would like to support my ministry, hit reply to this email and we can chat methods 🙂